How to re-think self-improvement and relationships to make the world better

According to the annual World Happiness Report by United Nations Sustainable Development Solutions Network, the richest countries are not the happiest. Finland is first, the United States is No. 14, and Russia is No. 60, right below Nigeria. And a rise in GDP does not increase happiness.

A trendy topic in economics is to determine the exact monetary threshold for happiness. In 2010, Professors Daniel Kahneman and Angus Deaton, now both Nobel Prize winners, established that happiness levelled off upon reaching an annual income level of around $75,000. A 2020 study by Matthew Killingsworth suggests that happiness continues to grow beyond this threshold, albeit insignificantly compared to other factors.

Most people fetishize money. Professor Richard Easterlin, having devoted more than 50 years to researching happiness, published a book this year entitled «An Economist’s Lessons on Happiness: Farewell, Dismal Science!» Easterlin rejects the common belief that money makes people happier, pointing out that incomes in the United States have tripled over the past 70 years but happiness declined. Yet the drive to make money starts at a young age, and our educational systems focus on teaching us what we need in order to earn.

An internal attitude toward positivity, as well as marriage and other relationships, are some of the most crucial factors for happiness. And, incidentally, they are much simpler and cheaper to obtain than material factors, such as governmental social programs or money. However, unlike the material side of life that receives much training and attention, these intangibles, which have a critical effect on happiness, are left to chance.

Increasing the world’s happiness (and preventing social problems stemming from various forms of internal dissatisfaction), would be one of the most amazing ways to create positive impact.

The three most crucial subjects in this area are:

First, our internal wellbeing. According to the studies, one in 10 people worldwide has a mental health disorder. In America, it’s one in 5. Approximately 8 million deaths each year, or 14.3% of deaths worldwide, are attributable to mental disorders. The numbers keep increasing. That is not quite a triumph of civilization.

Most of us do not know how to defuse negativity. There are simple tools for that, including meditation, which have gained in popularity. But increasing internal happiness in ways unrelated to external factors is not even part of most people’s mindset.

Second, relationships. Matrimony is our most important social institution, but can hardly be called a success when about half of all marriages end in divorce and many others represent toxic relationships.

Third, raising children. There is hardly a more important task in life than bringing up children properly. But what is «properly»? Again, society is silent. Thus, raising generations is also left to chance, and it’s no surprise that the increase of happiness lags far behind economic growth.

And how can we teach our children to be happy if 10% of us have mental health issues, 50% of us are divorced, and almost 100% of us don’t have a good grasp on how to be happy ourselves, stay in fulfilling relationships or bring up children correctly?

Techniques and theories on these topics are, of course, plentiful, both old and new. Dale Carnegie on relationships or Alfred Adler on child-rearing are 100-year old methods, yet are still applicable today. Newer concepts are also numerous, from «emotional intelligence” coined by Peter Salavoy, now the Dean of Yale University, and John Mayer in 1990 and later popularized by Dan Goleman, to “positive intelligence” described by Shirzad Chamine in his 2012 bestseller. Numerous sources include not only psychologists, but philosophers, qigong masters and religious teachers. Even the Dalai Lama co-authored a book called “The Art of Happiness.»

Choosing a particular method is less important than making information available to a broad public. There is no shortage of apps and online classes, but navigating these resources is not easy, and trusting them on such delicate topics is even harder.

Companies worldwide make fortunes by selling «stuff,» services or technologies, which, as studies show, have little to do with augmenting happiness. We are ready to pay for the stuff. So why are we not ready to invest in our self-education, which will truly improve our lives?

Discovering the secret of happiness often brings in more money, too! Research has shown that positive thinking improved productivity in 93% of Motorola’s employees, and at L’Oreal resulted in a $91,370 increase in sales per sales person. Moreover, the increased positivity of one increases the happiness of others, with a ripple effect.

A proposed solution is three-fold.

1. Popularizing. Through media, we can popularize genuine ways of attaining happiness. The small country of Bhutan contributed to this big idea by officially establishing a Gross National Happiness Index as an alternative measure to GDP. In 2011, The UN General Assembly urged member nations to follow the example of Bhutan and measure happiness. That’s what inspired the annual World Happiness Report.

The topic of wellbeing is becoming more and more fashionable. But the issues of self-help, relationship advice and mental health are still either stigmatized, or viewed as a luxury for the rich. Media can help destigmatize these topics, decouple them from psychotherapy coaching and convince all of us to be eager to invest our time, money and effort in them, preventively rather than reactively. Happiness is already commercialized through a misguided belief that money is what brings it. Let’s not be afraid to commercialize authentic happiness.

2. Educating. If relevant programs became a constituent part of our educational system, we would be equipped with the tools to build internal calm and lasting relationships. The Government of Delhi adopted a «Happiness Curriculum» for schools in 2018, and some countries are starting to follow. But there is no need for businesspeople and companies to dither until governments begin to take measures.

Schools, summer and sports camps and other educational establishments can propose their own programs or advertise third party solutions in this area, whether for students or parents, with everyone benefitting. At Stanford Graduate School of Business, a famous class about interpersonal dynamics bravely named «Touchy Feely,» has remained for many decades the most popular elective, and is selected by 90% of students.

Let’s not be afraid to institutionalize happiness.

3. Digitalizing. Among over 10,000 mental health apps, it is not easy to find an AI-powered chatbot, that answers in real time frequently asked questions on how to deal with specific challenges in mood, relationships or parenting. There do exist some technologies, such as Woebot, but these companies’ persistent treatment of users as lifetime mental health patients will prevent their scaling to the preventive care market.

The project could start with captive audiences, such as those for the wellbeing apps Headspace or Calm. The issue deserves to be handled at the level of international organizations, large foundations or visionary billionaires. Digital giants are also well positioned to launch such a project, as they have the capacity to create automatic improvement of programs based on algorithms and user ratings. These are often pictured in media as ill-intentioned, and spend significant funds on PR in response. If they were to direct some of these funds to helping people increase positivity instead, PR would be a natural consequence. Imagine Facebook, instead of rebranding into Meta, launching an app to help people have healthy relationships, since, after all, Facebook is about relationships. Imagine Google creating not only YouTube Kids, but also Google Parents. Imagine Amazon and other online marketplaces adding curated and rated happiness education programs to their vast offerings.

In the meantime, any company in any industry could shift from often toothless nominal wellbeing programs to major trainings in internal happiness and interpersonal dynamics, while measuring the outcomes. If done right, the positivity of employees and their families will increase, and possibly the company’s productivity too.

Those who create more happiness, whether for their country, company, group, family or even just in their own soul, will leave a true legacy for humanity, well beyond just the customary forms of impact.